miss alania (alania_x) wrote in ophelia_sucks,
miss alania

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My very good friend passed this along to me today, and I thought you guys might want to see it too.... =)

Hey all,

I was at work tonight, and one of my clients let me read something she'd written. I loved it so much that I asked her if I could e-mail it to myself. And after reading it for the 4th or 5th time I just thought that I had to send this to you guys. Her composition is incredible and speaks so much truth. The more incredible part is that this girl is only 16 years old. I hope you like it.

For those of you I haven't spoken to in ages: Hello! I hope you are doing well and all is good in life. All is well with me, though in 6 weeks I think I will feel much better, since the semester will be over and I can take a break from stress and late nights. For all you students, professors, new moms and grandmoms, I'm sure you can relate to the late nights and stressfull and busy days...I feel your pain!! Remember to take time for YourSELF eh!!

Take care,


*The Following is the composition written by my client*


Dear Self,

This is a long overdue letter and for that I am sorry.  In fact a lot of what
I want to say in this letter is about apologising.  I never made a conscious
choice to hurt you.  And yet I have in so many different ways.  Strangely
enough my motivation for doing  most of the abusive stuff I did to you was
trying to make me-us feel better. From as far back as I remember I never felt
completely normal or at least what I thought was normal.  I would look at
other girls they just seemed better smarter and basically more together. I
realize now that we all struggle and probably all feel like everyone else is
more blessed with something that we don't have.

I am sorry for the way I have treated you. I am sorry for the things I have
said and done and for the complete lack of faith I've had in you at times . I
apologise for not regarding you in the way you deserve and most of all for not placing
our needs above all others. I have looked every where but to you for the love
I need. I have done things and acted in ways that are shameful all in the name
of earning someone else's love, when all the time there you were just waiting
for me to look inward.

I know you know that our journey will be a long one and it will be far from
easy.  I am afraid that I will fail again and there is a voice that speaks
loudly warning me not to even try; that I am only asking for disappointment. 
But you deserve a hundred more attempts at letting it be right and if that is
what it takes, well then a hundred more it will be. I know as you do that the j
ourney will be filled with steps forward followed by steps back, but that is ok. 
Each day I will wake up with a renewed effort and a humble prayer for guidance.
I need to get back to you and to the spirit

that is truly me.

I know you forgive me and I am grateful for that. Today is a new day and with
your love and support I will take those small but very important steps
forward.  I really love you, me
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